The Week in Yeah is Emerald Miasma's weekly round-up of the good, the bad, and the incomprehensible of pop culture, the world at large, and life in general, as seen by me.
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Oh cable, you are a beautiful, awful bitch. You make me put off watching 30 Rock and The Wire and countless other critically acclaimed shows in favor of disposable nonsense. Most of it is completely pointless 'Reality TV' that is meant to be forgotten seconds after consumption. Some of it isn't even fun to watch (Amish Mafia), but some of it is fascinating. Case in point, Cutthroat Kitchen. This is one of the 50 competitive cooking shows on TV today, and the 10th or so hosted by indelibly fastidious geek icon Alton Brown. I like Alton Brown. He has that assured swagger that nerds are sorely lacking more often than not, and I think he's a affable, yet occasionally biting host. The premise of this show is spite, as far as I can tell. Four chefs start with $25,000 and one minute to grab as much product as they can to make classic dishes. Then Alton auctions off sabotages to the contestants to give them a competitive edge. It can range from stealing another person's product to making someone use a camp stove to cook their entire meal to replacing pizza dough with a pre-baked pie crust. It's brutal, and I FUCKING LOVE IT. Chefs, more often than not, are bitchy perfectionists full of professional jealousy, and this show turns all of those baser instincts loose and REWARDS THEM FOR IT. The last chef standing get to walk out on whatever cash they haven't spent, which is usually like $400. The sabotage is often brilliant and absolutely dickish. One chef stole all the bread in a sandwich making challenge. Genius. That chef follows me on Twitter now I think, which is dope. If you're reading this Chef, I admire you're tactics.
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I mentioned Amish Mafia earlier, and I've watched this dumb show for two stupid fucking seasons now. It's not good. It's actually quite awful. I don't derive any enjoyment from it. Ten minutes into every episode, I immediately revert to dicking around on my phone instead of changing the channel. That said, there was some sort of marathon of the show on Discovery Channel the other day and I couldn't find the remote, so I watched like four straight episodes before giving enough of a shit to change to an Tribe game or something. The show centers around a few groups of Amish/Not Really Amish ne'er-do-wells in Pennsylvania and Southern Ohio (specifically the intensely dull Holmes County, which is a place that is only good for apple butter and crippling depression) protecting Amish interests with force. They claim that since they were not baptized into the Amish church, they can work on the fringes of Amish society and fix wrongs the church can't. So they hustle protection money, break stuff, set fires and kill people (or so its strongly implied) all to keep the precious Amish holier than everyone on Earth. First of all, it should be noted for anyone who hasn't lived around the Amish, the Amish are awful people. They hate you because you don't shackle yourself to outdated lifestyles to prove your loyalty to God. That's not a generalization, you are lesser than them in their eyes because you have a goddamn telephone. But their disgust of women, homosexuals and different races are totally cool by their standards, to say nothing about the God thing. And then there's Rumspringa. Fuck Rumspringa. For those of you that don't know, at some point before you join the Amish church for life, you have what's called Rumspringa, where you go out into the dreaded English world to see if you like it. It can last as long as you want, but once you come back you're there for life. Think about that for a second. You take a kid with no knowledge of the outside world, openly tell them to sin all you want for as long as you want, and that once you return, all of that shit will be forgiven and you'll never have to worry about it again. Needless to say, they go fucking apeshit. They do drugs by the fistful, they buy cars and get speed into telephone poles, and generally become walking powder kegs that the rest of the world has to deal with. But I digress, back to 'Amish Mafia'. The show is obviously fake, and not in a 'We all assume that all reality TV is fake' kind of way. Everything is staged and recreated to the point of absurdity. Anything illicit is met with these half-rent Mafioso telling the cameraman to stop filming, only for their Lav mikes to 'inconspicuously' pick up all the sordid backroom details. To top it all off, a cursory Google search reveals all the show's protagonists are just petty criminals with minor records, far from the major players of the rural underworld that they'd have you believe. The season finale airs next week, or maybe it already aired. I'm not sure, but I'm sure I don't care.
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One of the most fascinating figures in cult cinema today is Sion Sono. The Japanese poet/director got started directing in gay porn. The fact that he even has a semblance of a career after such a taboo beginning (which is even more taboo in sexually conservative Japan) is a testament to the caliber of work he creates. His work seems very influenced by gay culture. There's an incredible air of dignified camp to his work, not unlike drag theatre, so that even the most over-the-top, fantastical moments in his films (of which there are several) don't seem like the brazen acts that they are. There are certainly John Waters-esque elements to his work, but they're muted by his more Gothic tendencies. The style in his films are impeccable as well, and his sense of the world around him is wildly intriguing. This is the point in my Sono discussion that I demand that you all go out now and watch Suicide Club. It's one of the best films I've ever seen, and if you know anything about Japanese culture, you realize what a scathing indictment it is of life in the highly trendy nation. But I'm not here to discuss Suicide Club (but I could for hours), I want to discuss Strange Circus. Strange Circus is a psychological thriller in the absolute loosest sense of the term. It centers around a young girl that is systematically abused by her father and tortured by her mother. She's forced to watcher parents have sex while locked in a cello case, gets assaulted by her subsequently jealous mother, and is eventually driven to attempt suicide. But, not all is as it seems. This girl was actually the product of a reclusive author's imagination. But, is that also as it seems (LAYERS!)? The film, like all of Sono's work, is beautiful and upsetting. The twist ending is a bit predictable, but that doesn't make it any less disturbing to
watch. Definitely recommended.
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Podcast News! The Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction Podcast is quickly becoming one of my favorite shows. Hosted by the snide and probable sexual deviant (not really) Bryan Cook, the show consists of two rounds of prurient story-time, round one being written in advance and round two being audience suggested stories, written by comics, writers, and performers. This is a platform for the comedy world to be as fucking filthy as possible, and they rarely disappoint. The show has drawn the likes of Kyle Kinane, Matt Braunger, Jackie Kashian, Rob Delany, Dave Hill, Kurt Braunohler, and Erin Gibson. The topics vary from innocence wrecking nightmares like Clifford the Big Red Dog, Winnie the Pooh, and Rugrats to sacred nerd cows like Spider-Man, Magic the Gathering, and Star Trek to the fucking insane like Florence Nightingale, The 1995-96 Chicago Bulls, and H.P. Lovecraft. It's fucking awesome. If you're looking to start somewhere with this show, may I recommend a Round Two show with Ian Karmel (Toddlers in Tiaras), Christian Ricketts (Dumbo), Sean Jordan (Frasier), Steven Wilbur (He-Man), and Shane Torres (Saved By the Bell). So goddamn awful. So goddamn wonderful. Amen.
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Music! The Journeymen's 'Mount Us More' is the brainchild of the dudes at the Superego podcast. If you've never heard the absurdist masterpiece that is Superego, its three guys (Jeremy Carter, Matt Gourley, and Mark McConnville) doing probably the best radio sketches out there today, and The Journeymen come from their weird cast of characters. As the story goes, outlaw-country crazy person Shunt McGuppin met another outlaw-country crazy person Mutt Taylor in a bar fight, and decided to get a couple more crazies (Cubby Lauderbourne and Jimmy Blades) and make an album. Its basically the best album I've heard all year. How can you not like songs like 'If Lovin' You is Black', 'American Woman (Navajo Bitch)', and 'Red Meat and Depression'? Think an even more deranged version of Ween's '12 Golden Country Greats'. Demon Queen is the side-project of Black Moth Super Rainbow's Tobacco and Zackey Force Funk, so you probably know what that means already. It features Tobacco's hauntingly syrupy synths and creepily sexual posturing, but this may be his darkest release yet. The dude bleeds neon, but his synth work is getting icier and more confrontational with every release, and I fucking love it. If you love BMSR, you'll love this. In a year that needs some more good rap to balance out the double headed monster of Jay-Z and Yeezus, Homeboy Sandman delivers. Sandman serves as an excellent counterpoint to the bombast and self-righteousness and hypocritical self-inflicted martyrdom of the Throne Watchers. This is rap at it's most minimalist. The beats are not overpowering, and only help to feed Sandman's calm, yet speedy delivery. Its hard to make even-keeled rap that doesn't come across as backpacker nonsense, but Homeboy makes it wildly intriguing. This is what real confidence sounds like.
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I mentioned Amish Mafia earlier, and I've watched this dumb show for two stupid fucking seasons now. It's not good. It's actually quite awful. I don't derive any enjoyment from it. Ten minutes into every episode, I immediately revert to dicking around on my phone instead of changing the channel. That said, there was some sort of marathon of the show on Discovery Channel the other day and I couldn't find the remote, so I watched like four straight episodes before giving enough of a shit to change to an Tribe game or something. The show centers around a few groups of Amish/Not Really Amish ne'er-do-wells in Pennsylvania and Southern Ohio (specifically the intensely dull Holmes County, which is a place that is only good for apple butter and crippling depression) protecting Amish interests with force. They claim that since they were not baptized into the Amish church, they can work on the fringes of Amish society and fix wrongs the church can't. So they hustle protection money, break stuff, set fires and kill people (or so its strongly implied) all to keep the precious Amish holier than everyone on Earth. First of all, it should be noted for anyone who hasn't lived around the Amish, the Amish are awful people. They hate you because you don't shackle yourself to outdated lifestyles to prove your loyalty to God. That's not a generalization, you are lesser than them in their eyes because you have a goddamn telephone. But their disgust of women, homosexuals and different races are totally cool by their standards, to say nothing about the God thing. And then there's Rumspringa. Fuck Rumspringa. For those of you that don't know, at some point before you join the Amish church for life, you have what's called Rumspringa, where you go out into the dreaded English world to see if you like it. It can last as long as you want, but once you come back you're there for life. Think about that for a second. You take a kid with no knowledge of the outside world, openly tell them to sin all you want for as long as you want, and that once you return, all of that shit will be forgiven and you'll never have to worry about it again. Needless to say, they go fucking apeshit. They do drugs by the fistful, they buy cars and get speed into telephone poles, and generally become walking powder kegs that the rest of the world has to deal with. But I digress, back to 'Amish Mafia'. The show is obviously fake, and not in a 'We all assume that all reality TV is fake' kind of way. Everything is staged and recreated to the point of absurdity. Anything illicit is met with these half-rent Mafioso telling the cameraman to stop filming, only for their Lav mikes to 'inconspicuously' pick up all the sordid backroom details. To top it all off, a cursory Google search reveals all the show's protagonists are just petty criminals with minor records, far from the major players of the rural underworld that they'd have you believe. The season finale airs next week, or maybe it already aired. I'm not sure, but I'm sure I don't care.
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-
One of the most fascinating figures in cult cinema today is Sion Sono. The Japanese poet/director got started directing in gay porn. The fact that he even has a semblance of a career after such a taboo beginning (which is even more taboo in sexually conservative Japan) is a testament to the caliber of work he creates. His work seems very influenced by gay culture. There's an incredible air of dignified camp to his work, not unlike drag theatre, so that even the most over-the-top, fantastical moments in his films (of which there are several) don't seem like the brazen acts that they are. There are certainly John Waters-esque elements to his work, but they're muted by his more Gothic tendencies. The style in his films are impeccable as well, and his sense of the world around him is wildly intriguing. This is the point in my Sono discussion that I demand that you all go out now and watch Suicide Club. It's one of the best films I've ever seen, and if you know anything about Japanese culture, you realize what a scathing indictment it is of life in the highly trendy nation. But I'm not here to discuss Suicide Club (but I could for hours), I want to discuss Strange Circus. Strange Circus is a psychological thriller in the absolute loosest sense of the term. It centers around a young girl that is systematically abused by her father and tortured by her mother. She's forced to watcher parents have sex while locked in a cello case, gets assaulted by her subsequently jealous mother, and is eventually driven to attempt suicide. But, not all is as it seems. This girl was actually the product of a reclusive author's imagination. But, is that also as it seems (LAYERS!)? The film, like all of Sono's work, is beautiful and upsetting. The twist ending is a bit predictable, but that doesn't make it any less disturbing to
watch. Definitely recommended.
-
-
Podcast News! The Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction Podcast is quickly becoming one of my favorite shows. Hosted by the snide and probable sexual deviant (not really) Bryan Cook, the show consists of two rounds of prurient story-time, round one being written in advance and round two being audience suggested stories, written by comics, writers, and performers. This is a platform for the comedy world to be as fucking filthy as possible, and they rarely disappoint. The show has drawn the likes of Kyle Kinane, Matt Braunger, Jackie Kashian, Rob Delany, Dave Hill, Kurt Braunohler, and Erin Gibson. The topics vary from innocence wrecking nightmares like Clifford the Big Red Dog, Winnie the Pooh, and Rugrats to sacred nerd cows like Spider-Man, Magic the Gathering, and Star Trek to the fucking insane like Florence Nightingale, The 1995-96 Chicago Bulls, and H.P. Lovecraft. It's fucking awesome. If you're looking to start somewhere with this show, may I recommend a Round Two show with Ian Karmel (Toddlers in Tiaras), Christian Ricketts (Dumbo), Sean Jordan (Frasier), Steven Wilbur (He-Man), and Shane Torres (Saved By the Bell). So goddamn awful. So goddamn wonderful. Amen.
-
-
Music! The Journeymen's 'Mount Us More' is the brainchild of the dudes at the Superego podcast. If you've never heard the absurdist masterpiece that is Superego, its three guys (Jeremy Carter, Matt Gourley, and Mark McConnville) doing probably the best radio sketches out there today, and The Journeymen come from their weird cast of characters. As the story goes, outlaw-country crazy person Shunt McGuppin met another outlaw-country crazy person Mutt Taylor in a bar fight, and decided to get a couple more crazies (Cubby Lauderbourne and Jimmy Blades) and make an album. Its basically the best album I've heard all year. How can you not like songs like 'If Lovin' You is Black', 'American Woman (Navajo Bitch)', and 'Red Meat and Depression'? Think an even more deranged version of Ween's '12 Golden Country Greats'. Demon Queen is the side-project of Black Moth Super Rainbow's Tobacco and Zackey Force Funk, so you probably know what that means already. It features Tobacco's hauntingly syrupy synths and creepily sexual posturing, but this may be his darkest release yet. The dude bleeds neon, but his synth work is getting icier and more confrontational with every release, and I fucking love it. If you love BMSR, you'll love this. In a year that needs some more good rap to balance out the double headed monster of Jay-Z and Yeezus, Homeboy Sandman delivers. Sandman serves as an excellent counterpoint to the bombast and self-righteousness and hypocritical self-inflicted martyrdom of the Throne Watchers. This is rap at it's most minimalist. The beats are not overpowering, and only help to feed Sandman's calm, yet speedy delivery. Its hard to make even-keeled rap that doesn't come across as backpacker nonsense, but Homeboy makes it wildly intriguing. This is what real confidence sounds like.
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